Something’s going down just in time for my leaving!
A Lackey of the head honcho at Personnel had a meeting with Ms. Heller and proceeded to proclaim outrage when it came up that Manager C had filed a request for a personal assistant. (We obviously don’t need yet another person here and given how little she does, she doesn’t need an assistant, but that’s not the point. She wants someone to boss around now that everyone she supervises has transferred out.) His reason for outrage? She hadn’t discussed the request with Ms. Heller, who knew nothing about it. Going around the boss is a shitty thing to do in any office.
Mother Germany then had a meeting with Personnel, wherein she purportedly got into a shouting match with the person she was meeting with, Lackey. The topic? Manager C’s performance. Only this time, Lackey was defending Manager C while Mother Germany let loose. Why’s he playing both angles with two separate people in our office?
Finally, around 3pm Manager C told Ms. Heller she had to leave from work early due to a ‘family emergency’. But Charisma was at the Personnel office delivering a training supply package at the time and saw Manager C come in and quickly go off to a side meeting. Charisma naturally reports this the moment he gets back to our office. Family Emergency, eh?
All three supervisors ended the day in a bad mood, which is fairly normal. I swear sometimes this office is like a turgid soap opera, minus the sex.
I head to the elevator to leave for the weekend. There are maybe four or five people who work on my floor standing there waiting. One of them says aloud, “the elevator’s taking forever! Did it break again?”
I walk up and press the button. One of the people waiting says, “Oh!” I do a mental facepalm.
We had a managerial meeting today. About a dozen mid-level managers came to our office for it. A tiny two-page agenda ended up stretching for over two hours. Several managers were nodding off.
Someone needs to teach my supervisors- Manager C, Mother Germany, Ms. Heller- how to run succinct meetings. It’d do a world of good.
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What, you didn’t think my last two weeks at [Redacted Company] were going to go by smoothly, did you?
Personnel really wants to know why I’m going. Want to know so badly they’ve called almost everyone now. They demanded to know why from Ms. Heller, who was awesome and said it wasn’t any of their concern. That I’m a temp, not a [Redacted Company] employee, so I don’t need to give a reason. This apparently wasn’t the answer they were looking for so they hit up Charisma, who refused to tell them anything. As aforementioned, they called up Mother Germany, who said she felt uncomfortable talking about other peoples’ private lives. After that they decided to actually call me directly, but I was away from my desk and didn’t pick up.
So finally they called Manager C (who’s something of a kiss-ass for Personnel; she jumps at their beckoning). She came out and asked me to come see her in her office.
Once in there, she did a fake-nice routine. She mentioned my resignation, then said she got a call from Personnel and they wanted to know the reason why I was ending my employment here.
I politely said I didn’t believe that was any of their business.
Manager C said there was an exit interview process and they needed to know as part of it.
I pointed out that this process was only for [Redacted Company] employees, and that as temporary worker with at-will employment, I was under no obligation to any such process.
She made the false claim that I owed my temping agency an exit interview process, which presumably would then be passed on to Personnel.
I told her firmly that I’d given my notice in a professional manner and any private information was just that, private.
Getting the hint, she let me leave.
Afterward, Mother Germany and Charisma gave me high-fives for not folding. The three of us have all been getting a kick out of watching Personnel go into contortions over not being in the know.
This is crazy! They’re getting really obsessive over your resignation, and it makes no sense to me. You gave your notice and that’s that. There’s no reason to be creating all this fuss.
But according to Charisma, Personnel is in a huff. (She knows a lot of people over there and is constantly in the know.) Ms. Heller notified them that I was leaving but thankfully didn’t mention why. Personnel, being notoriously nosy bastards, are upset about this lack of knowledge. Cue the gossip mill. Right now the main rumor going around there is “he’s leaving because he has money.”
Wait, what?
“he’s leaving because he has money.”
No, wait, seriously?? Please explain this one to me. Really. I’d love to know what this assumption is based on. What about me gives the air of money? And why have I spent the last nine months working as a temp when I’m apparently independently wealthy?
(I should be a bit offended, and to a degree I am, but mainly this all seems bizarrely hilarious. “I’ve got money” has been the new running joke at work all day today for Charisma, Mother Germany, and me.)
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